What to Do When You're Feeling Triggered
Is this not the most millennial blog post title you’ve ever read? As I compose this entry, I’m in a place of having just been *a wee bit* triggered, so I’m attempting to answer my own question. I’ve found that writing serves as a beneficial distraction, and so, the below thoughts have been borne of my having a moment.
Feeling “triggered” is not an easy concept to explain, nor is it easy to accept that vulnerability in oneself. It’s certainly not a term reserved for people with PTSD or panic attacks. Even I thought the term was bordering on funny when it first started cropping up in think-pieces and articles. “Triggered” has a tendency to be associated with “snowflake.”
But it finally clicked for me - all the times I’ve felt a sudden, precipitous, seemingly chemical drop in my mood, immediately following any number of particular brands of interactions - I've been “triggered,” in a way. When it happens, I’m brought back to a different emotional state or a place in my life, which makes me feel like I’ve been transported to another dimension, where I’m a different person with different thoughts, different opinions, different feelings. All of that can happen in the span of a couple seconds, and it sometimes feels like everything’s blurry. Can you relate?
Once I realized (much later than I’d like to admit) what this was, I set out on a mission to identify what triggers me, so I can attempt to move past it. I’m still investigating this mystery - I’ve made a lot of progress with my wonderful therapist over the course of the past six months. But I’m still working hard to flesh out the particulars of the types of interactions that leave me feeling triggered.
In the meantime, I’ve become much better at not allowing myself to be swept up in the current of my sometimes-reckless brain during these episodes. I’ve become able to more quickly identify what it is that I’m feeling, observe it, and associate it with a deeper meaning. This isn’t always possible but this thought process has made it easier for me to talk through issues with people I love - something that’s always been difficult for me. I’ve always found articulating my emotions to be one of the greatest challenges of my life.
I’d love to hear what techniques you use when you’re feeling triggered. Here are some of mine:
Note the Emotion - It’s always fine to feel what we’re feeling - in fact, emotions are what allow us to unlock the deepest parts of our brain, to understand how we react to our surroundings. But when my emotions shift abruptly and seemingly for a reason, I try to “observe” what I’m feeling, by noting it for what it is - for example, if I feel angry, I think to myself: “anger.” If I feel sad, I note: “sadness". This first step allows you to experience the emotion without being held captive by it.
Write for Five Minutes - Admittedly, the process of writing out my feelings can sometimes … suck. But I’ve started to carry a journal with me for what I like to call “emergency” journaling sessions. When I’m feeling a moment of darkness I pull it out and write in a train of thought manner. It doesn’t really matter what comes out on the paper, but typically after this exercise, the clutter feels like it’s left my brain, and I can identify more clearly the deeper root of what I’m feeling.
Try Not to Place Blame - If feeling triggered is coming from an interpersonal interaction, it can be easy to feel (and it could even be true) that someone did something to you, and as a result, you’ve been emotionally triggered. To the extent possible, express or focus on how you feel, not the actions of the other person. This is not advice to “not be a victim” - on the contrary, it’s a reminder that looking internally is the key to understanding how we react to the external world. We can’t do this if we focus on our emotions being the result of someone else’s actions.
Remember to be Kind - This might not be applicable to everyone, but at times I feel emotionally depleted I tend to be harder on myself. My motivation drops, resulting in further self-shame and disappointment. Being triggered results in this overwhelming feeling of self-disappointment x10. In these times, I try to remember to be kind to myself. To not shame myself. To understand myself and to be patient. To give myself care or love.
Breathe - Put one hand over your heart, and another over your belly, focusing on your stomach as you breathe. Take a moment to take three deep breaths - inhale for four counts, and exhale for four counts - through the nose. Repeat as many times as you have time for! This never ceases to shift my entire energy and awareness. Feeling more grounded separates me from the swirling thoughts that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
I truly hope the above tips are tools you can take with you and remember along the way, when you're not feeling yourself. I’d love to chat in the comments below about how you cope with feeling triggered, anxious, or just blue.
Please remember that this site is not meant to provide professional health advice - if you’re struggling with feelings of hopelessness, depression, anxiety, etc., I highly encourage speaking to a therapist or other mental health professional.
If you are reading this and feeling hopeless or are considering any kind of self-harm, please call a crisis hotline (National 1-800-784-2433 / 1-800-273-8255) or 911.
Copyright 2017 by Kurt Boomer Photography
